Going To Bed Mad

I haven’t been feeling so well for the past couple of days. Today hasn’t gotten any better. I’m writing with this massive headache. It feels like a cold is coming on and I’m desperately trying to fight it. I just can’t afford to get sick.

So Timineri’s current company that he’s working for and another firm in San Francisco has been in a bidding war for him. After offers and re-offers, Timineri made the decision to go with the firm in San Francisco. It has always been his desire to move to that city because of it’s enticing life style. My initial reaction is and always will be to support any decision it is that he makes. My primary concern was to help care for the house, find candidates to rent the rooms out to and the logistics of helping him transition to San Francisco. It has been a mentally tiresome process, but my commitment is to my best friend as he was there for me through my transition to New Mexico years ago.

It has been a very long day and I mostly enjoy it with him, but it has also been a very physically trialing day as I did not feel well. We were discussing logistics of roommates, whether or not to have lease agreements, finances and I was trying to share with him my concerns/hardships. The conversation escalated to a a level that it didn’t need to. Timineri has listening issues. This started with him not hearing that I originally stated that we should hold the 3rd renter to a six months lease. I’m sure it was unintentional, but this late in the night and past my bedtime, I completely ran out of patience for it. He then did it again regarding a comment I made about the gym. What irritated me the most is it should have been a quick discussion about logistics and I was going to share with him how I having a trainer guide me to seeing results and having a healthy routine has really helped with my emotional well being. I’m holding a lot of emotions inside and I don’t know how to relieve that. It feels like if I talk about it or acknowledge it that I would just break. Whatever the trainer is doing to guide me to the results I want physically has certainly eased my emotional and mental fragility. I wanted to share with him how I have an emotional delayed reaction to things in life. My first reaction to this whole situation of him moving to another city has been a logistic reaction: taking care of business and getting things done right efficiently and most cost effective. Now that logistically, things are coming full circle, emotionally things are setting in. I already miss him. We’ve spent very little time together as in this home. We barely had our typical Summer and now we’re transitioning into Winter 100 miles apart from each other. He drives me up the walls sometimes, but he’s like a brother to me. I worry about now while he’s here and I certainly will worry when he’s away. But before I could verbalize all this, he goes and fucks it up by taking a conversation into an escalated situation because he doesn’t know how to listen. I’m fuckin’ frustrated.

I would like to write more… However, it’s two hours past my bedtime and I still got to eat then head to bed. Whoever said, “Don’t go to bed mad…” has never had to deal with Timineri.

1 Comment to "Going To Bed Mad"
  • mikey called me last nite & gave me the news. i told him i would try to help him find a place in sf. then i thought it would be awesome to rent a room from you & move stuff in my house into storage so i could paint, remodel, whatever. then i realized as much as that sounded good, it won’t work. oh well, so much for dreaming. anyway, call anytime, I’m always here for ya. hope ur feeling better by the time u read this. love ya 😉

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